Columns share an author’s personal perspective.
*****
“Hey, kiddo. watch’ya doin’?”
“Playing a videogame.”
“What’s it …
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Columns share an author’s personal perspective.
*****
“Hey, kiddo. watch’ya doin’?”
“Playing a videogame.”
“What’s it about?”
“Zombies.”
“What’s the point of the game?”
“You have to kill the Zombies before they eat you.”
“Did your dad buy you that game?”
“Yeah.”
“I figured. So how hard could it be to kill zombies. I mean, they walk really slow and just go ‘grrrr,’ right?”
“Well, they’re slow in the beginning when they are walking zombies, but then they become running zombies.”
“Oh, running zombies aren’t good.”
“No, cuz they’re faster.
“A fast zombie? Isn’t that an oxymoron?”
“Huh?
“Nevermind. Then what happens?”
“They become zombie dogs.”
“Any particular breed? Are they designer zombie dogs, like Zombiedoodles?”
“Huh?”
“Nevermind. So dog zombies are bad?”
“Mom, they’re DOG zombies!”
“Gotcha. Then what happens?”
“They become these zombies that can walk on walls.”
“Are they still dogs?”
“No. (sigh) Just wall zombies.”
“OK. And where are all these zombies?”
“The Pentagon.”
“Yeah, that sounds about right.”
“It’s the Cold War and I’m the president and I’m fighting the Pentagon zombies.”
“What happens when you beat them?”
“You can NEVER beat them all.”
“Ohhhh. So this is an educational videogame?”
“Huh?”
“Nevermind. Carry on soldier.”
This is a repeated Lost in Suburbia column, which has appeared in GateHouse Media newspapers since 2008. As Tracy Beckerman’s main column is shifting focus - her kids are grown and she has moved back to the city - we are rerunning her earlier work for readers who may have missed these the first time around. You can follow her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/LostinSuburbiaFanPage/ and on Twitter at https://twitter.com/tracybeckerman.
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2020-07-30T06:01:00Z
Lost in Suburbia classic column 073020
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